3.2 Active listening

How can you be present when listening?

We now have even more ways to communicate than ever. But how do you actively listen? And how do you stay connected? As Dropbox’s Director of International HR, Laura Ryan, says: ‘it’s the big one, it’s the one everyone talks about all the time’ (HRD Connect, 2021) and she does this by really doing her best to listen on calls and shut down other distractions. Switch on ‘do not disturb’ on computers, shut down emails, turn off your phone or even put it in another room – actively listen. As a result, Ryan says it really does help build relationships and solve problems faster with less churn and a happier team. Most importantly, it deepens trust and gives people a sense of value and that you have listened.

When we are present, we are giving our full attention. When we are present we are more grounded and able to give a better response. Being present also sharpens our awareness of what is going on around us. We will ask better questions, understand more and simply be the best version of ourselves (Prince, 2022).

In the video below, contributors share their insights into the importance of effective communication.

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ELISE LOCKYER

So communication is the absolute essential tool for making sure that there's a variation of communication, so be it through open Q&As, where you actively have sessions where you really listen to what your people are saying, and you answer them authentically. And if you don't know the answer, go away and find out and come back. You know, thank them for their time, their engagement. They may have brought something up to you that you had no visibility of. And that is the amazing part of really engaging and opening up lines of communication with the team. You work on different things. You do different things. You have different areas of specialism. There is no one more important in the team.

And making sure you've got eyes everywhere-- you can do that when you're having open communication with your team because they would bring things to you that they had no idea of. And you would bring things to them that they had no idea of. So it's really about communication, collaboration, and teamwork. When I say different methods of communication, you've got different people who operate in different ways, work in different ways, learn in different ways. So you have to mix up your methods of communication, be it through a newsletter and having it a little bit more colourful and documented down, and the statistics being very clear, versus having a company-wide huddle or presentation where you are engaging with people, either remotely or in the office and taking them through the key and most important things within the business, following it up in a written format, a CEO report, or a documentation, using Slack as an open way of communication to colleagues that's there and available for them.

But one of the most important things that we've done throughout the pandemic, and we've changed a load of ways in which that we operate, is ensuring that we have the technology and the tools to enable these conversations to happen on a one-to-one basis, on a team basis, on a company-wide basis, on a written format, and making sure then that the messages are transparent and are repeated multiple times for them to be heard across the organisation.

MATT WINTLE

So we'd be at the forefront of using some of these tools, collaboration tools, messaging tools, those sorts of things. And now that has to be everybody, because that's the way that we're communicating most of the time. So the real shift is in the way that we communicate and the tools we use to do it. And when I talk about communication, that could be a meeting, or it could be a document that you're sharing. And that's fundamentally changed through the pandemic.

In terms of knowledge sharing and production of collateral, if you like, within the business, I feel there's always been an opportunity to do things better. The technology's actually been around for quite a while, but it's the adoption that's difficult. So I'll give you an example. It used to be that we're writing a Word document because we need to do a proposal or a business case or something that's important for the business, somebody would write it. They'd send it around. Somebody would comment on it. And that's quite a long verbose process. Well now, the behaviour that we expect is much different because it's all live and dynamic. So the document is stored somewhere. Everybody can see it. Everybody can access it in real time. If you want to go and change it and I'm changing it at the same time, the technology allows you to do that. So you get much more speed, and you get much more collaboration. And if you think of the power of that on a meeting, so no longer we're on a meeting and I'm taking notes, and I'm going to update that later. We're going to do it together as we're having the discussion.

So the power is actually really, really strong. But the behaviour change is necessary. And that's difficult for some people because they're not used to working in that way. And whether that's because you now need to work a bit quicker and you need to be a bit more dynamic, or for some people, it's that loss of control-- some people like the fact that they're in control of that document-- and it's a change of culture. And it's all about collaboration and speed.

In terms of the balance between a fast-moving collaborative world and the governance that needs to surround that, I feel that we need to address it with some structure at one level and then acknowledge flexibility at another. And therefore, at Admiral, there are now slightly different frameworks in place to manage that. So everybody's quite comfortable to be online sharing these ideas and creating these documents. But actually now, if you want to send that somewhere, you want to circulate it, it needs to be classified in a certain way. So to balance out that flexibility, there's a level of governance.

So for example, I find-- and I'm certain others do-- that if you're doing Teams calls all day, there are calls that you have to have because they're work related and they're scheduled, and it's for a reason. Whereas, if you're in the office for the day, you have meetings that you were never meant to have, whether that's making a coffee or over the water cooler or whatever it is. And those meetings-- I'll call them meetings-- they're just conversations, are really valuable because you learn more about what's going on in other areas of the business. You share some of the ideas of what it is to be at Admiral, especially with new starters. So we want people to be in the office some of the time.

LOUISE CASELLA

Those of us who work in UK-wide organisations, but sit in Wales, like us-- we're used to sitting on not very good Skype-for-Business calls before pandemic. And that really, being a very second-class experience for the people who are at the other end of that call. Whereas now, we've really kind of learned how to use Teams in the best way we can and learned how to use Zoom or whatever technology somebody is using-- Google MeetUp-- we now switch between them with relative ease, like what were we worried about before? We just do it.

But I think one of the things that we could learn more is how we exploit the most-- how we get the most out of those technologies, because it's like using your washing machine. You use two programs, whereas there's 18 there. There's probably loads more within that we could all learn how to use and make an even better experience for each other. So I love it when somebody tells me there's something else I can do with it, or there's something else I can switch to. And then you start adding to your repertoire all the time. But I think the key thing has been about seeing them as tools-- you still have to communicate. They're not the solution. They're the means to a solution, and to remember that you still have to have those conversations. You still have to connect with people, and that the tools just enable you to do it.

JONATHAN MORGAN

So there are many reasons why regular communication is fundamental to building trust between the company at all levels for interaction. The pandemic changed the way that Object Matrix worked in so much that it has changed the way that people live and organise their lives. It's changed the way we organise the work. It's just changed the way we schedule the work even, because the schedule of the work should allow smaller units to work with regular communication so that we don't just leave someone for a month and then come back to them. So in many ways, the pandemic has changed the nature of the organisation, much for the better. And some things have been challenges.

Biggest challenges for Object Matrix, post the pandemic, that we have a workforce that has been admirable, has been brilliant, actually, at delivering quality software products and support for our customers. But that has a potential to drift. And by drift I mean there's a communication of what is the purpose of the company, where are we going with the company, and making sure everybody is 100% involved in setting that direction, but also in the delivery of that direction and the communication of that direction. It's very possible if you spend too long apart that you start to drift in your directions. You might be working just as hard. But you may not be fully aware of where the company is going. So the real challenge for me is, how do we keep on the same page? How do we have camaraderie? How do we have cross training of people so that they are all equally up to speed with the technologies that are happening? And how do we deliver that in a hybrid way of working?

Mental health of employees is a very important subject indeed. It's hard enough to manage that when you're in the office and you see somebody on a day-to-day basis, and you see them and know them and understand them, yet alone when they're working from home. But we should also be encouraging conversation and meetings at a personal level. It could be a "HR," "HR" in quotes, because ultimately, it's two people speaking together and seeing how they are. And that doesn't need to be a manager to an employee kind of a relationship. That could be either co-workers, but it could be coffee clubs. That way people meet up online and just talk about whatever they want to talk about. It could be ensuring that we have regular meet ups of the staff. And it could be, as I say, the "HR" side of things. So they are three really clear ways that Object Matrix is trying to work to make sure that the mental health of the employees is noticed, and then we can, if something is amiss, we can always talk about that and what the best action is.

NATASHA DAVIES

And we did some research actually, during the pandemic that helped us highlight a number of areas where training might be needed. And it was around things like managing virtual teams and self-awareness, how different leadership styles might impact or work differently in a hybrid dispersed world of work, and training around resilience, motivating team members, wellbeing, managing wellbeing being a particularly key area, and training some of the softer skills that we think might be really important. So we're prioritising things like wellbeing, but also thinking about communication and empathy and that kind of thing. Through the same research that we did, we also identified a number of attributes that our stakeholders felt that leaders and managers are going to need. And that is very much leaders who are effective communicators, who can actively listen, who prioritise regular contact with staff, who embraced new ways of communicating in a virtual and digital world, empathetic leaders who understand how different ways of working, how changes in how we work might affect individuals differently, leaders who can act as role models, who set out clearly what they expect, who don't regularly overwork themselves, because we know overworking really is a risk in a more dispersed world of work-- leaders who really lead by example, managing their own well-being and the well-being of their teams, and then also leaders who are emotionally intelligent who are open and transparent and are visible across the organisation.

We're not going to implement new ways of working now that are just going to stay static. I think we're going to constantly be finding new ways of organising our workplaces, particularly as new technology becomes available that can facilitate that collaborative working, that perhaps, we've relied upon doing in person in the past. And so I think we're going to need leaders who are open to learning, adapting, and embracing new ways of doing things as we move forward. And I think there are many things that can be done to help leaders develop a more empathetic approach. Inevitably training is going to be part of that. But I think some things that perhaps gets missed in this conversation sometimes is that empathy requires self-reflection. And self-reflection requires time.

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How to apply active listening skills

You don’t have to apply all of the tips below all of the time, but take the time to be mindful of your impact on your team during both in-person and remote calls to show that you are actively listening.

You could take some of the following actions if you are comfortable to do so:

1. Pay full attention and give them your undivided attention. So put away your distractions and pay attention to verbal and non-verbal communication cues.
2. Show you are listening by making eye contact or reacting to their words. You don’t just have to nod and smile but be authentic in your reactions – asking questions for instance.
3. Have empathy and listen to what they have to say – resist the urge to give unsolicited opinions, form solutions in your head or interrupt them. If you want to improve your meetings, consider making them more inclusive for full range of diversity in the team.

Not everyone listens in the same way: hold neuroinclusive meetings

Meetings, and particularly video meetings, can be really tiring and, as Amanda Kirby (2021) writes: ‘Being a facilitator can be a bit like being the conductor of an orchestra all playing different tunes and starting off at different times.’

Calling people in and making eye contact with them is not as easy remotely as it is when you are all in the same physical room, and turn-taking and not knowing when to speak and when to not speak can be difficult. We make judgements that someone is not interested or not listening if their camera is off but to someone who is neurodivergent it can actually be a way of them really giving you their full attention and listening. Just because someone is off camera don’t fall into the trap of assuming they are asleep or doing something else.

There are many tips on holding neuroinclusive meetings in this LinkedIn blog [Tip: hold Ctrl and click a link to open it in a new tab. (Hide tip)] written by Professor Amanda Kirby. She also talks about setting ground rules and ensuring to discuss the length and purpose of the meeting, encouraging people to change names on Zoom links as to how they wish to be addressed, maybe even spelling it phonetically or including gender preferred pronouns.

As a facilitator of meetings you might want to include polls and allow for comments in chat boxes to get ideas from others. It also allows you a chance to minimise conformity bias to give employees space to disagree and for those who might feel uncomfortable not speaking up. You could follow up after meetings by asking if there was any support that would have helped for the meeting.

Another way to enable participants to really listen is to give them a chance to listen again by sharing a recording of the meeting.